A Soldier's Regret
by Fallenstreet01
Summary: A soldier without noone at her side, a soldier without a reason to fight for, a soldier without hope...Can a soldier like her find something to live for with just a little of luck? (It contains smut/self-deprecation stuff, you have been warned.) Dedicated to Shinra-ex-SOLDIER.


**YEEEEEAAAAHHHH! I managed to finish it before New Year! Hurrah for me!**

 **Ok, let's start from the beginning, shall we? hello there, Fallenstreet here wishing you a happy new year! This is a fic I was working in for the last 3 months but due several reasons I couldn't finish it until now, yet HERE IS IT! Not even I can't believe I made it!**

 **Ok, let me clear a few things, first: this is my first smut work, so I'm not sure of the quality or the grammar, but I'm confident it came out cool.**

 **Second: this was going to be a long one-shot but I decided to split it because it ended up being way longer than I expected it to be, so you can expect the second part in the incoming days; but I recommend you to not get your hopes too high, I'm a huge slacker.**

 **Third: for those waiting for my other stories updates, let me tell you that I'm already working on them, but they may not be here for a while because I'm working on other stuff already, so patience please.**

 **Anyway, please enjoy and, Shinra-ex-SOLDIER, my boy, this goes to you.**

Rain poured through all the city, it hadn't stopped for several days now, but that didn't matter to a certain black haired young woman. The drops kept falling over her body as she just walked down the street, watching at the void.

Two weeks ago, the Super High School Level Model Enoshima Junko was founded dead outside her apartment. Apparently some stalkers tried to get their way on her, she defended herself but one of them stabbed her repeatedly with a kitchen knife and ran away. The police made an investigation, but when they founded them, all of them were already been killed in a torturous way, almost unhuman, by an unknown attacker.

The funeral reunited her closest friends to give their regards to her only family, her twin sister Ikusaba Mukuro, but all of that didn't matter to her. Junko, the only person she ever cared about was dead, and despite avenging her death, despite making her killers wish they had never born, she wouldn't get her back.

" _You're such a disappointing sister._ Junko was right, I'm a disappointing worthless sister. How can I call myself a soldier if I can't take care of my own blood? Maybe I should just disappear." She said to herself, with an airplane ticket to Middle East in her hand, ready to go, lose herself in there and hopefully dying in the middle of some war. Until a certain voice interrupted her train of thoughts.

"Ikusaba-san! Ikusaba-san!"

She looked back to see the owner of the voice calling her: her classmate, a short boy with an ahoge and hopeful eyes called Naegi Makoto holding a backpack under an umbrella. "Naegi... Kun?"

"Thank god I finally found you! I was really worried about you! Where have you been!? I have been looking for you everywhere, you're wet soaked! Wait, I'll lend you a towel..." He searched for a towel in the bag when a really strong wind blew away his umbrella, and when he tried to catch it, a car passed at high speed splashed him from head to toes. After that, he couldn't help but curse his luck, only to hear a faint laughter coming from behind. The freckled soldier was holding a hand against her mouth, trying to contain her laugh, but little it could do to hide the sound.

He thought on saying it wasn't really that fun, but considering the circumstances, he let her have fun at his expense. A whole minute later, after he got tired of being her clown, he grabbed her hand. "I'm glad to see you're well, but we need to get out of the rain, we'll get sick."

"…Where to? We don't have anywhere to hide from it."

"My house is near here, we can go there." After he said those words, he realized what he just proposed her and got all flustered. "W-well if you're okay with it, that's it."

Without other viable choice, she decided it was the best course of action wait in there until the rain stopped and just nodded him in agreement.

Soon they reached Naegi's home, a small yet comfortable two-floor house in the suburbs. His parents and sister were outside, visiting some relatives so the house was only for the two of them. And while that was good news because he didn't wanted to explain why he brought a girl in the middle of a storm and bear with corresponding teasing, at the same time it only put him more nervous since he was alone with a woman in his own house. His mind was an utterly mess of hormones and embarrassment.

"Do you mind… if I use the shower first?" Ikusaba asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Huh? O-oh yes, feel free to use it. It's the second door at the left through the hallway."

"Thanks." And with that she went to the bathroom. She stripped, put her clothes on the dryer machine, and got inside the shower. The hot water falling over her bare, unscarred skin felt really good, since she hadn't showered or had any decent sleep in days, but the mere thought of that was more than enough to remember everything wrong in her life. She felt summing herself in despair again. _Why couldn't she had been there that day? If only she..._

"Ikusaba-san? May I come in?" Naegi's voice sounding through the door startled her.

"... Yes."

"I brought you some dry clothes from my sister. They may be a bit loose but I think they may fit you. Do you need something else?"

"Thank you, but…" Ikusaba was about to tell him that she didn't needed anything, but a sudden question came to her mind, in an attempt to cease her inner voice. "Actually… I want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"You said you were looking for me. Why?"

"Why? Because I was worried for you! After the funeral, you ran away without telling anything to anyone. I... I can't even began to imagine about what you're going through, but I have a little sister too and... I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to her…" Naegi began to tell her. "I know you're suffering, that's why I don't want you to be alone! I don't want you to happen something bad...especially knowing that I could have helped you. It hurts me to see you suffering. I know you're strong but... you can always count on me for anything."

Her heartbeat raised little by little as she listened him. _I know he's always like that, but why did he had to say it like that?_

She was in love with Naegi since they first met. At first, not even she knew about it, it was until Junko "subtly" made her known she had a crush on him when she realized of her own feelings. His smile, his hopeful personality, the occasional braveness he could achieve under certain situations and his way to see the best in everyone. With the time, those feelings grew stronger as the simple crush passed to be pure love. But after the recent events, she became uncertain of her own reach. If she couldn't protect her sister, there was no way she could do it with Naegi. And with the horrible things she had done, the lives she had taken and the terrible deeds she had performed in her life, not even he would accept her. That's why she had to go, away from Naegi, away from the bad memories, away from everything.

"..." She kept quiet, not wanting to answer anything from his sudden declaration, mostly because she didn't knew what to say. She simply let the warm drops clear her mind.

"Well, that's what I wanted to say, but now it's me who want to ask you something." His voice suddenly turned serious "Why are leaving Japan?"

"!" Her mind got alarmed and got focused immediately on Naegi. _How did he...?_

"Ah! Sorry if I'm being rude, but I saw by accident the ticket, so..."

 _Of course he did..._ , it wasn't exactly a secret, but she wanted to go without anyone knowing, just disappearing without leaving a trace.

"... I... just want to... forget everything..." Hurriedly, she took a towel, wrapped herself with it and, with the speed of a Super High School Level Soldier, got out of the shower and out of the room in less of a second, leaving a very confused and astonished Naegi behind her, not wanting him to ask about anything else.

"Wha... Wait, Ikusaba-san!?" Naegi trailed her to where he found her locked herself in his room. "Ikusaba-san, please open. I didn't mean to be intrusive! Open, I just want to talk! At least let me grab some clothes to after the bath!" After several tries of knocking the door without response, he decided to take the bath and deal with Ikusaba later, but her words kept lingering in his mind. _Forget everything? Ikusaba-san..._

Meanwhile inside Naegi's room, the soldier was sat backwards the door, consumed in her own thoughts. _Why did I had to tell him that? Why did he had to find me? Why is this happening to me? Why?_

After a few minutes of calming herself down, she began to plan her next course of action. Hmm... I forgot the clothes Naegi gave me in the bathroom, but if I go out now he may see me. I'll just wait here until he falls asleep, I'll get my clothes back and leave before he wakes up. I wonder if there's something in here I can use meanwhile... And she stared at the room looking for something she could wear for a good while. Her face began to heat itself more and more when she realized she was in Naegi's room; with her chest pounding wildly, she put her hands on it trying to calm it down, but that only served to distress her even more after realizing she was naked on his room.

 _Calm down, calm down, remember your training, focus, ignore all the unnecessary and focus on your mission, no matter how threatening is everything around you, how tempting, interesting, seductive... FOCUS! Search for something to wear..._ She went to the closet to take borrowed a shirt and some pants, but instead she founded a hoodie. The hoodie. Naegi's favorite hoodie he always used and she'd never see again.

The temptation was too big for the soldier, she pulled it out of the drawer and began to admire it, remembering every time she saw Naegi using it and, as if the spirit of a hound had possessed her, she began to smell it. Her face got completely buried on it, inhaling every single bit of it as if its essence were some kind of drug to her. The boy's aroma made her remember all the good times she spent with him, evoking the brightest memories she had and easing her depressed heart from the sorrow that consumed her, but that wasn't enough for her.

Letting her inner instincts go loose, she took off the towel, put on the hoodie and began admiring herself in a mirror the boy had behind the door. It was a bit short on the length and it felt tight on the chest, but when she watched herself on the mirror, her sole naked figure with just the hoodie covering her, she felt as if Naegi were there hugging her from behind wearing that hopeful look and making her feel special… and it felt nice.

And then remembered she'd never see him again, nor listen him, nor talk to him, nor anything else. Her eyes became watery with that mere thought, but then an idea came to her: she couldn't be able to be with him anymore, but at least she wanted to have one last memory with him. She wasn't brave enough to make a move on the real Naegi, she knew that much, but she'd have instead a moment with her imaginary him, now that he was still fresh in her memory.

Her fantasies began to flow, imagining him around her, kissing every inch of her body, carefully discovering every secret place in her, while, in the real world she began moaning while pleasuring herself, massaging her left breast over the hoodie with her right arm while with the left arousing her lower lips. When "Naegi" was done with the warming-up, he prepared to the real deal. Ikusaba unzipped the hoodie to take a better grip of herself, spread her legs to get a better reach and her fingers began to get inside, first the tip of one, slowly expanding her inner walls until she was able to put inside two of them. Her moans were becoming louder and louder, saying constantly Naegi's name while making her pace faster and faster. "Ahh... Ughh... Naegi...kun... Ahh... Nae... Aghh..."

On the other side, Naegi, who just got out of the shower and still in towel, went to his bedroom to see if Ikusaba had already calmed down, just to hear some muffled sounds inside his room. "Huh? What is that?"

"A... Naeg... Gh... egi-ku... Mnh..."

 _Is she calling me?_ "Ikusaba-san? Are you ok?"

The feeling Ikusaba was through was pure bliss, with her fingers touching every sensitive spot of hers, her mind went blank, not hearing Naegi's calls. She was completely beyond thought, letting the pleasure taking her to greater and greater heights.

"Uhmm... Ikusaba-san, is it okay if I come in?"

It was an intoxicant sensation going through her whole body, when a twitching came from inside her and loudly cried "Naegi... Coming... Coming..."

 _Come in?_ "Okay"

As Ikusaba shuddered and cried out as her body reached orgasm, Naegi entered the room viewing completely her fully exposed womanhood.

The events that occurred in the later three seconds happened so fastly and so smoothly that can easily be described as impossible. Naegi got flustered and tried to excuse himself but, due a certain feminine fluid on the floor and his own clumsiness, he ended up tripping himself. Ikusaba, on the other hand, tried to cover herself while taking off the hoodie, but after sensing Naegi's inevitable fall, her soldier reflexes made her body to instinctively move where he was about to fall. However, because of the lack of strength in her legs due her recent climax, she stumbled and, in a desperate attempt to reach for a support point on him, his towel was torn apart. As result, Ikusaba Mukuro, with nothing but an open green hoodie down to the elbows and recently enraptured, ended up under a naked, confused and flustered Naegi Makoto, with none of them knowing what to do with their current situation.

 **And cliffhanger! I'm not too fond of them but I must admit it feels refreshing doing them. So... please feel free to review me to let me know what do you think and please show me your love pushing the follow/favorite button.**

 **Well then I say goodbye for now, Happy New Year to everyone!**


End file.
